Thinking About a Prenup? Here’s What No One Tells You
Alright, here’s the deal. Bringing up money before saying, “I do,” can feel... uncomfortable, right? But here’s the thing about marriage—it’s not just about merging lives, it’s about merging everything, including finances. A prenup isn’t some unromantic buzzkill; it’s a way to protect what matters most to both of you while setting a foundation of trust and clarity. No, you don’t have to be rolling in cash to need one.
Whether you’re juggling student loans, a business, or even just a dream for the future, putting it all on the table can save you both a ton of heartache down the road. Stick around, and we’ll break down why this simple step might just be the ultimate love and money power move.
What Even Is a Prenup? (Hint: It’s Not Just for the Rich)
Here’s a fun fact to warm us up—did you know that, according to Draft My Legal Docs, prenuptial agreements are only used in about 10% of marriages in the U.S.? Yet, over half of divorce lawyers say demand for prenups has been on the rise. Why? Because more couples are waking up to the reality that planning for “what-ifs” doesn’t mean you’re planning to fail.
"Forget the Hollywood gossip—prenups are just smart love contracts that keep your wallet happy and your peace of mind intact!"
When I say “prenup,” what pops into your head? Glitzy Hollywood splits and tabloid headlines? Same. At least, that’s what I used to think before I really got into personal finance. But here’s the tea—a prenup, or prenuptial agreement, is just a legally binding document that spells out how a couple will handle their money, assets, and debts during marriage and in the (please don’t hate me for saying it) event of a divorce.
1. Debunking the "Only for the Wealthy" Myth
Once upon a time, I thought prenups were for yachts, trust funds, and people with private jets. Then my friend Julie, a part-time teacher with a modest savings account, got married. She had a prenup drafted to protect her small inheritance from her grandma. And guess what? It wasn’t awkward or marriage-dooming. It was just a way to safeguard something important to her family.
2. It’s Not About Distrust, It’s About Clarity
If you’ve got a savings account, some student loans, or even a side hustle, having a prenup isn’t overkill. It’s about being proactive and understanding that life is unpredictable. And honestly? Knowing exactly where you both stand financially can take some serious weight off your shoulders as a couple.
3. Starter Pack for Who Needs It
- Are you bringing an inheritance into the marriage?
- Do you own a home, a small business, or investments?
- Got custom financial goals, like saving for a future family or paying off debt together?
You’re already in prenup territory, my friend.
The Modern Marriage and the Money Shuffle
Over the past decade, marriage and finances have started to look a lot different from what they were for our parents. People are waiting longer to get married, blending families, and walking into partnerships with a lot more financial history (hello, student loans!).
1. Why “Love and Debt” Is a Real Thing
When Jenny, a reader I once worked with, married her husband, she didn’t realize she’d be marrying $80,000 of his student loan debt too. A prenup could’ve helped them outline who was responsible for what before the “honeymoon phase” got a little too real.
2. Assets Aren’t Just Big Numbers
Maybe your biggest asset is a passion project side business, your 401(k), or that family heirloom car collecting dust in your parents’ garage. Prenups can help clarify how those things are treated if you head down separate paths.
3. The Bigger Picture of Dual-Income Households
Dual-income households are more common now than ever. A prenup doesn’t just clarify who-earns-what, but also how you’ll share or divide costs, savings, and investments. It’s about building money habits that bring you closer as a team.
Blended Families and Messy Money
When love strikes again, things can get a little more financially tangled. Blended families and second marriages are some of the most common scenarios where prenups are simply essential.
1. Protecting Kids From Previous Relationships
If you’ve got kids from a previous marriage, a prenup helps make sure they’re looked after financially. Without one, your assets might not end up where you want them.
2. Preventing Family Drama
Talking about how property, retirement accounts, or investments will be handled upfront can save your heirs from a lot of drama later. I’m talking fewer arguments over who gets to keep grandma’s collection of antique teapots.
3. Setting Clear Expectations Around Finances
Second marriages often bring a mix of assets and debts into the picture. Outlining who owns what and how financial responsibilities are shared can build trust and prevent misunderstandings.
Entrepreneurs, This One’s For You
If you’re starting or running a business, a prenup is basically your insurance policy against future messiness.
1. Avoiding the “Divorce = Business Split” Disaster
Imagine pouring your blood, sweat, and caffeine into your dream business. A prenup helps protect your business from being treated as a marital asset, which could save it in the case of a divorce.
2. Protecting Your Partners and Employees
If your business is part of a partnership or has employees, a prenup adds a layer of protection for everyone involved. It ensures that the business continues on steady footing no matter what happens.
3. Keeping Business vs. Personal Lines Clear
Prenups can help distinguish between marital finances and your business finances. I’ve seen business owners breathe a sigh of relief knowing their venture wouldn’t be entangled in personal disputes.
Why Prenups Can Make Your Marriage Stronger
If you rolled your eyes at the thought of this being a “relationship builder,” hear me out. I’ve helped couples go through the prenup process, and you know what happened? They came out stronger on the other side.
1. Honesty Is the Best Policy
Going through a prenup forces couples to have honest conversations about money. You’ll have to get real about how you spend, save, and see your financial future.
2. From “My Money” to “Our Plan”
Sure, a prenup outlines individual assets. But the big win? Agreeing on how you’ll build something together, whether that’s a long-term savings plan or a dream travel fund.
3. Peace of Mind for Both Partners
It’s not about planning for divorce. It’s about removing uncertainties so you can focus on growing together, with one less thing to worry about.
Wallet Reads!
- Money Talks: Start the prenup conversation early. It’s less weird, I promise.
- Team Effort: Hire separate lawyers who can look out for each side’s interests.
- Not Just for Big Bucks: Whether it’s savings, debt, or sentimental assets, a prenup is practical for most couples today.
- Get the Details Right: Hammer out specifics, from business assets to future inheritances.
- Review and Update: Life changes, and your prenup can too. Revisit it every few years.
- It’s a Love Move: Think of it as building financial trust, not inviting relationship doom.
Building Love and a Solid Financial Foundation
Look, I get it—prenups may not be the most romantic thing to bring up before your wedding. But trust me, they’re not about inviting trouble; they’re about building trust and making sure you and your partner are on the same page. By having these conversations now, you’re setting the foundation for a future where love and money don’t have to clash. Think of it as planning for a solid and secure happily-ever-after.
